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Press Release: Attempt to Circumnavigate the World Suspended

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Unattempt to Circumnavigate the World by Kayak Suspended

Grand Marais, Minnesota (April 1, 2013) — Today expedition paddler Bryan Hansel indefinately suspended his attempt to attempt a never before attempted kayaking route in the pursuit of becoming the first person in the world to circumnavigate the world by kayak. He was attempting the solo expedition to bring attention to the slowest growing religion in the world, The Church of the Latter-Day Dude.

The expedition was set to start on the Great Lakes, travel to England via Greenland and Iceland. Then journey to the Mediterranean Sea to the Suez Channel and around India, with a short jaunt below the equator just to satisfy critics. From there it was to go along Japan, to Alaska to the Panama Canal into the Gulf of Mexico and up the Mississippi River. A 6-mile portage would bring the expedition back into the Great Lakes watershed.

When the expedition was announced, Hansel said, “It’s important to me to attempt the most difficult and unlikely sea kayaking expedition ever conceived in the history of mankind. And, tack on some unrelated cause to help raise money.”

With the expedition set to go, Hansel was packing is kayak and learned that the rug wouldn’t fit within the hatches, and without the rug there would be nothing to tie the campsite together. Hansel, an ordained Dudeist Priest, quoted from The Dude De Ching, “The rug is only a fabrication which ties the room together.”

Hansel has no plans to unattempt this journey again.

Hansel times three.
Hansel times three.

Hansel owns a kayak guiding company called North Shore Expeditions based in Grand Marais, Minn. He offers Lake Superior kayaking trips and Grand Marais kayaking trips. He has kayaked the entire American shorelines of Lake Superior and Lake Huron and has paddled as far away from the Midwest as the Lofoten Islands in Norway.

The Church of the Latter-Day Dude (Dudeism) is the world’s slowest-growing religion. It’s an ancient philosophy that “preaches non-preachiness, practices as little as possible…” Hansel has been an ordained Dudeist Priest since 2009.

The expedition is sponsored by these generous companies: The Bank of the Global World, Big Water Kayaks, Groovy Paddles, Around Ankles Kayak Skirts, and many individual donations from generous supporters.

Contact:

John “The Kayaker” Smith, PaddlingLight.com

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10 Comments

  • Jack Davidson

    Sorry I’m late to the game. I applaud you on your attempt to circumnavigate the world. I also applaud your decision not to. The former shows your bravery and valor and stick-to-it-ive-ness. The latter shows your keen sense of futility and what-the-f*ck-ness. True courage demands both.

    By the way, I wanted to point out: I am an unrelated cause to raise money! Even if there’s currently no cure for me, perhaps scientists could discover some underlying cause for me, or children could be warned appropriately of becoming me. Regardless, you can send the checks my way. I promise to use them wisely: bending stock, red cedar, local craft beers.

    I think I’m on the wrong side of the lake to paddle with you, but maybe someday.

    Yours in kayaking, Jack

  • Jean-Marc S.

    If a kayak noobie like Riaan Manser can circumnavigate Madagascar, I’m sure this challenge was within your grasp ;-)

    And I bet it will be done one day (the Atlantic is already done and the Pacific should be doable following the asian coast until the Aleutian islands. Nice project if you have 3 years to spare ^^

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